Some of the world's most terrifying machinery

First posted 11th October 2013

We at Clear are pretty comfortable with our heavy machinery. Our Green Energy specialist Chris Barker, for instance, has a licence to drive JCBs, which is a nice skill to fall back if he feels like a change of pace. Construction machinery is always pretty breathtaking, but we’ve collected a few of the more absurdly fantastical. Feel like sawing through the Earth? Clear can help with that!

The Walking Forest Machine from Plustech Oy

The Clear office isn't great with spiders, but the Timberjack Walker tractor is especially reminiscent of something that crawled out of our collective nightmares. Capable of moving over the roughest forest terrain where other logging machines cannot reach, this bad boy also boasts a detachable robot arm capable of ripping trees out of the ground and stripping them in a matter of seconds. Sadly, it doesn't seem as though Plustech Oy actually exist any more, hopefully someone else will take this walker to its logical conclusion and slap a flamethrower on it.

The Genesis 2500 Mobile Demolition Shear

This 25,000 kg hydraulic cutter makes the Jaws of Life look like a toothpick, and can cut through, well, pretty much anything that irks you. We’d expect nothing less from a machine with such an awesome name like that.

The 959K Feller Buncher from John Deere

The name Feller Buncher almost sounds friendly, but there's nothing sweet about that giant mechanical saw-claw. The machine is designed to slice a poor, defenceless tree and grab its remains like a grave robber. We might be making the process a little more emotional than needs be. Perhaps it's just the idea of a machine that could crush and decapitate you in the same instance.

3000HP Rotary Snow Plow from Union Pacific

Just look at that thing! It's a wall of whirling death! Rotary snow ploughs for trains have been in use for about 125 years (being steam powered back in the old West) but the latest iterations are designed to munch through simply enormous snowdrifts. Quite frankly it looks like it could eat through solid rock, too.

The 12HM Continuous Coal Miner from Joy Global

OK hold on just a minute here, that's clearly gone too far. Whether or not it can mine 5 tonnes of coal per minute (spoiler: it totally can), we’re more horribly reminded of that death scene in Total Recall. We're going to need to get a hold of one of these ourselves, branded with the Clear logo (naturally), and carve out our very own Batcave.

It's unlikely that you'll need these particular machines (we'd question your motives if you did), but thankfully Clear Asset Finance has an extensive history finding finance for a huge variety of construction equipment. JCB diggers, cranes, forklifts, whatever machinery you’re looking to get on finance, Clear have access to the funders that matter.